KISSING AND THE KISS OF DEATH

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, "kiss of death" is a phrase describing an action or association that brings inevitable ruin or failure. The betrayal of Jesus by Judas Iscariot (the "Judas kiss") is a primary source for the phrase. In other nefarious instances, the kiss on the lips marks a gang member for execution. It is a phrase that indicates an act that predicts failure or doom.

The word “kiss” is derived from the noun coss in Old English (Middle English kissen or kussen). Some claim that the word is onomatopoetic and arises from the sound made when kissing. There are also “scientists” who claim that kissing is a surviving form of primate grooming.

When some of the Kewa people of PNG first saw pictures of people kissing, they described it as “eating their faces,” which says it all and might lead to a “kiss of death.” Their word for what I described as a kiss was nunu in Kewa but mainly was a picture of someone rubbing their lips on someone. It can also refer to a dog licking the legs of its master.

In courtship scenes that I witnessed between Kewa (of PNG) men and women, the ritual included onlookers sitting near the couple and singing with a nasal twang in their voices. The round of courtship would end with the couple aggressively rubbing their foreheads together. Such actions were perhaps symbolically the same as kissing in their culture. In the Kewa dictionary, this example occurs: nogo naakinumi kunanare nunu loa teme “if the young people 'turn heads' we say that they ‘kiss’.”

We can also kiss something “goodbye,” meaning that we are unlikely to see it again, but this is quite different than kissing a person goodbye when they leave. This may also happen when a loved one dies and their loved one bestows a final “kiss.” There is no response of course because the person is dead. However, we don’t usually associate a kiss with death, even if people kiss the corpse of the departed. In our culture, it represents an act of endearment, although it can symbolize many other things.

We are more likely to kiss someone “hello” than goodbye and the act is performed in a variety of ways. We know that cultural manners of kissing vary significantly worldwide and the act may be a greeting, a sign of respect, or it may be romantic. 

Common ways are “cheek-to-cheek,” nose-rubbing or pressing, hand-kissing, the social "peck" and double/triple cheek kisses found in Europe. I read that “only about 46% of cultures engage in romantic lip-to-lip kissing.”

I read that “in Slovenia, Turkey, Serbia, Ethiopia, North Macedonia, Montenegro, Russia, the Netherlands, Luxembourg, Switzerland, Poland and Lebanon, it is customary to kiss three times, on alternate cheeks. Italians, Croatians and Hungarians usually kiss twice in a greeting and in Mexico and Belgium only one kiss is necessary. In Ecuador, women kiss on the right cheek only and in Oman it is not unusual for men to kiss one another on the nose after a handshake. (information from Internet)

There are also many traditions regarding kissing. At Syracuse University the senior class of 1912 inaugurated a “kissing bench.” At the Elis Island’s registry room there is a “kissing post,” where the families of immigrants would be waiting to greet their kin.