SAYING GOODBYE

When my wife Joice was dying in March 2021, I sat by her side and said “goodbye” many times as I held her hand and stroked her head. Each of our Waco grandchildren went to her bedside and also said their “goodbyes.” Our Aussie families did the same by internet and phone and one of our PNG couples sent a recording of a song they composed and sang for her. 

Joice did not like to say goodbye. She would talk to our guests as they were leaving at the front door and then continue, even when they were in their vehicle with the engine running. If I complained, she would say, “That might be the last time I ever see them.” She really did treat days and events like they might be the last. And she did it with joy.

When Joice lay dying in hospice, I sat by her for a week and said goodbye continuously with my voice, by holding her hand, and sometimes by crying. Saying goodbye was final, and it was sacred. It would be the last time I would see her on earth. It was hard for me to say goodbye, although I knew where she was going and that it was time for her to go.

We should take goodbyes seriously, because we do not know what the next day holds. As James reminds us, “You don't even know what your life tomorrow will be! You are like a puff of smoke, which appears for a moment and then disappears.” (James 4.14) However, and as Jesus said, “So do not worry about tomorrow; it will have enough worries of its own. There is no need to add to the troubles each day brings.” (Matthew 6.34)

We read that Ruth would not say goodbye and leave Naomi, although her sister-in-law did. Instead, she said, “Don't ask me to leave you! Let me go with you. Wherever you go, I will go; wherever you live, I will live. Your people will be my people, and your God will be my God. ...” (see Ruth 1.14-22 for more of the story)

During times of war, millions of young people have said goodbye to their families and loved ones and gone off to fight, many of them never to return. The anguish and sorrow was profound, and yet each hoped that this would not be a final goodbye.

Most people don’t realize it, but goodbye is a contraction of “God be with ye/you.” The colonists would say “Fare thee well. Pray remember me.”

In Britain or Australia, you may hear “ta-ta” for goodbye. It originated from baby talk and became popular around the 1820s. On the other hand, leaving a party without saying anything, has been called an “Irish goodbye.” The origin is not certain, but some claim it referred to drunk Irish Americans leaving a party. There are other idioms, such as “French leave” (secretly and without permission), “Italian exit” (prolonged and elaborate) and “Polish” or “Dutch exit” (sneaking away without saying goodbye). Saying goodbye is polite. In the Kewa language of Papua New Guinea, upon leaving the person would usually say “go and sleep.”

What a wonderful experience it will be greet people in haven to whom we had once said goodbye on earth. Living in heaven with God and his people will be wonderful and awesome.

God will not change his mind and say, “I meant to say goodbye to you,” instead of “hello, and welcome to heaven.” God is not a man that he should lie and tell us that we have eternal life with him if we do not.

He does not say “goodbye” repeatedly, as I did when Joice was dying. For the last week of her life here on earth, she was unresponsive (except for the penultimate day), so I held her hand and told her how much I loved her, although she knew that. I did not want to hold on to her here in this life and on earth when she needed to say goodbye to me. The heavenly home is not a place of goodbyes, but of hellos. 

Although it may not be long before I say goodbye to my family and friends here on earth, I want to dwell more on the welcome I hope to receive in heaven: “‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!’” (Matthews 25.21)

That will make the earthly goodbyes pale in comparison. 

Karl Franklin